While 2021 is racing out of the gates, let’s take a moment to pause. What are the lessons we want to learn from 2020, from the past 4 years of 45, from Freedom Summer, the fight to defend our decaying democracy, the many ways we’ve adapted to pandemic living, grieving and loving, what is (im)possible, dreamable, doable? Let’s take time to gather together to support critical and compassionate reflection on how we are finding our ground in shifting political landscapes, the relationship between inner and outer work, and what fortifies us for the ongoing work to dismantle white supremacy. Trump is out but Trumpism continues in all of its poison, distortion and destruction. While many of us may still be exhaling with relief and detoxifying from the end of this endless election and traumatic presidency, we know there can be a seductive danger of falling into complacency with this new administration. Instead, let us find ways to build momentum towards radical visions and possibilities of a more just world.

Resources/Suggested Readings:

• Clarissa Brooks: On Movement Heartbreak
• Lucy Diavolo: 2020’s Historic Activism Is a Reminder that A Better World is Possible, Not Inevitable
• Deepa Iyer and Trish Tchume: What’s in Your Movement Pantry?

Dialogue Notes:

These are rough, uncut, unfiltered, and anonymous notes taken at the dialogue. We get that these may not be very readable to those who were not in attendance at the dialogue, and, honestly, sometimes even to those of us who were. We still feel it is important to keep them available as part of our accountability process and for archiving and reference purposes.  Some of these notes have been digested/transformed into blogs.

Checkins

• Work in a number of organizations, and hoping that work will be seen. Not knowing now that will impact the bigger picture. Humility, receiving. 
• This makes me think of grief work – collective and personal. Finding community. 
• How am I not letting myself settle – how am I pushing myself to show up further, given trauma responses that have impeded me from showing up
• Doing the work of meeting people where they’re at, so they don’t shut down from the ultimate goal
• Doing transforming white privilege work in other circles. There are many lenses to this work, and appreciate this one. Recalibrate. 
• Want to honor the roots of my work in the Bay, and also to grow into the work where I am at now without spreading myself too thin
• Have been discussing an another space about this need to codify the learnings of this past year, and now here I am
• Feeling trepidation about undermining of voter rights, and then look at my picture of Stacy Abrams and feel encouraged
• Here in witness-ship to observe
• Have been going a million miles an hour, ready to unpack
• Reckoning with fallout of having lost work because of advocating for racial justice
• Pandemic making personal needs apparent, how to move forward towards liberation with greater honoring of individual and collectineeds
• Present and nervous, appropriately challenged in many areas of my life and feeling overwhelm, drawn to many pieces of this 
• Regathering from fragmentation & reactivity of last year

Small group breakouts, with these guiding questions:

• What are the lessons we want to learn from 2020 (or from the past 4 years of 45, from Freedom Summer, the fight to defend our decaying democracy, the many ways we’ve adapted to pandemic living, grieving and loving, what is (im)possible, dreamable, doable)? 
• How are we finding our ground in these shifting political landscapes? 

Returning to large group, share reportbacks and insights from breakouts, and debrief lessons we have learned and how we are finding ground:

• How to move people emotionally towards action, moving deeper on a connective level
• Exhaustion can appear similar to complacency, how to honor legitimacy of that exhaustion while being active still with all that remains 
• Importance of taking baths (self care)
• Importance of keeping a vision of the impossible
• Nurturing friendships that keep you engaged in the work
• Depth of anti-Blackness and how pervasive it is
• Theme of humility, humbling effect of this time – this needs practice
• we need people in the middle of the country
• The “social” in “social movements”
• When I can’t do the things in the outside world, how to find joy in home, cooking, smaller existence – have been forced to find new ways to find joy, feed my spirit
• Contribute not control (from CRC 5 methods to fight white supremacy)
• Feel challenged by the amount of blatant anti-Blackness that I see surfacing in non-Black POC, witnessing this in many spaces, not sure my role in this as a white person
• Frustrated by the patriarchal BS of spaces that are focused on anti-oppression
• How to address liberals who are leaning right and against equity, everything has been pulled right
• Was doing electoral work for local Black progressive candidate, who was running against a more conservative Black candidate – we are used to calling out incumbent, but there was clear guidance to stay in our lane as white people, not to be critical of her in ways that could be seen as disrespectful of her as a Black woman and leader, and that can be challenging when you differ politically re: issues you care about
• “It must be stated clearly white activists should never engage in behaviors or speech that disrespects or degrades Black leaders. No matter what your political goals are, it is racist to participate in a culture of tearing down Black people. If there is disagreement, as anti-racists, we must be disciplined in how those disagreements should be expressed and we must understand who should make any critique. Undisciplined engagement by white activists is counterproductive and serves only to perpetuate white supremacy. As white anti-racists, we need to direct our rage at the true architects of this oppressive system – the white supremacist imperialist capitalist patriarchal class.” –quote from – https://www.the5methods.org/
• How to intervene when non-Black POC are ganging up on Black leaders – what is my role in working towards institutional change – stay in lane, but what if that means not being an ally to the most targeted BIPOC in an organization
• Universalizing is a white supremacist move – to say “always do X” – nuanced, because we don’t want to cause harm, but a lot depends on interpersonal relationships – collective liberation work means getting called into more and more specificity
• In some moments, it is appropriate to name what we observe, and sometimes it’s appropriate to bite your tongue
• In the practice of dialogue, where we are listening and noticing what comes up – insights and impact might bubble up later
• Moving white folks emotionally – many white people are getting emotionally demobilized by what can be toxic white antiracist culture/cultures – what would be some helpful ways to name these dynamic tensions instead of freeze – in a white anti-racist culture that can be really inhospitable – recalibrating commitment for me so there can be greater movement that is more humanizing to bring more courage as we build together (especially at a time when white supremacist recruitment is offering a place of belonging – sense will be made of your suffering and longing)
• Recently got called in/out by a Black friend, don’t want to control, but don’t want passivity, how to just own the “I” – the difficulty, having a hard time with an experience – maybe not trying to say this is the answer, but how to start a conversation – what are we protecting if we don’t speak up – just protecting myself and my relationship to power
• Because we have power, it’s sometimes okay if we don’t speak – it’s okay to err on the side of being quiet
• Allowing for people to make mistakes – create spaces of belonging
• I participated in UNtraining – learning multidimensionality, how to speak as an individual and not as an identity
• Really appreciate your share of naming the somatic and physiological as transparency for movement. In the breakout we were talking about Somatic Abolitionism and Resmaa Menakem (and talking about how he is not an Abolitionist).
• Rigid axioms of ways to correct or prevent patterns of harm – ways of being – how not keep reinforcing  – there is a general rule, but what from there.. How to move beyond these ways of being that are calcified
• As a teacher, grappling with the whole public school system – showing up for system when so exhausted and demoralized – not feeling I am having impact, but feel responsibility as a white person due to seeing indigenous and POC getting pushed out of the system – struggling, how are we building momentum
• Think about vision – whose vision or what vision feels anchoring – drawing from Afrofuturist visionaries – holding without co-opting, without repeating harm 
• What books/visions? adrienne maree brown, octavia butler, indigenous youth led futurism collective on Waututh land (Had a request to share more about the group/collective who are called MST Futurism. Looks like their web presence is an Instagram account right now: https://www.instagram.com/mstfuturism/?hl=en and this was a recent event they offered: https://www.sfu.ca/publicsquare/upcoming-events/mst-futurism-decolonizing-the-city-through-a-matriarchal-lens.html)
• Youth v. Apocalypse video saw today, working on fossil fuels in CA, connected with folks working on Line 3, a lot about impacts of fossil fuels on BIPOC – feeling youth & Indigenous folks working together
•  Afro-indigenous futurism so inspiring
• What is invigorating? Actual land work that’s happening. Covid pushed out loved ones from service industry, and seeing their inspiration to get involved in land-based work. Loving SoulFire farm. Relationship between land and liberation. Helping to move material support toward reparations and rematriation of the land. Seeing people in my immediate community more open to this than before Trump and before COVID. Was expecting more complacency with Biden coming in. Have been working with folks over 60 in anti-racism community learning, deep desire to change. 
• Anti-racism and decolonization are not implicitly the same thing – decolonization feels really anchoring as i figure out how to show up day to day – white folks = de-settlerizing
• Potent short film, by Opal Tometi – “The Years of Repair”  https://theintercept.com/2020/10/01/naomi-klein-message-from-future-covid/ (Bridging from our time to the future)
• Need to think of new language – “white supremacy” is offensive because white people are not supreme – how to name it as it’s happening
• Hearing calls from BIPOC – name the system bluntly and directly, looking at tema okun’s piece on white supremacy culture – naming was a step, but feels like an electric fence – instead of a portal – how do we investigate these harmful aspects, what are the antidotes
• The paradox that it’s so important to keep naming – but then – how to not reinforce white supremacy or let it become propaganda 
• Talking more and more about anti-Blackness. BIPOC is a great acronym and sends many people whirling because they don’t know how to use it yet. Anti-Blackness lives everywhere, in all communities. The “big lie” (Baldwin). Loving the work of Paul Gorski to train people to understand ideological/institutional/interactive/internalized racism that is specifically anti-Black. Not gracefully and easily received. A lot of pushback. Real and poignant and urgent to right now. https://www.equityliteracy.org/
• Capitalism predicated on hierarchies, are we in a stage of reinforcing racial and gender hierarchies, re-grasping for its power?
• Every term can be a portal into a new understanding, or it can be an electric fence that just keeps us trapped and getting stung by it as we try to move forward
• Helpful to name things, but when “white supremacy culture” gets named – it’s just used as an attack- getting defensive instead of curious – not thinking about how we can meaningfully change it
• Antidote is deeper connection to this land – this ecosystem, these few blocks, indigenous leadership of local land – connecting more to land back movement 
• another big take away is discovering how “we take care of we” (take away/learning/place of growth & discovery)
• What is the impact of talking about white supremacy culture – what is lost? When white supremacy culture is in the room, what is not? Embodiment, etc. Somatically, what do each of these pieces feel like inside each of us – how do they prevent us from being a collective part
• In my group, we read tema okun white supremacy culture and adrienne maree brown emergent strategy together – what we pay attention to grows – what are we intentionally or unintentionally growing
• Have decided to give our house back to STLT so as not to perpetuate hoarding of white wealth https://sogoreate-landtrust.org
• important for us to look for opportunities to have conversations with people in our lives so more people do that with their property
• Reflecting on language that was used to describe Serena Williams, dehumanizing her and portraying her in an animalistic way, it was pointed out to me and my white conditioning had prevented me from fully perceiving it
• Arundhati Roy: pandemic as portal
• It has been a crisis and the apocalypse for our ancestors and for the ancestors of this land for a very long time. How to keep the portal open? Not just settle back into “this is just the way it is”
• We need to do more imagining – Handmaid’s Tale, yes i get it, can we reimagine something different?
• We are struggling here, so inundated with the nightmare, people who are fighting white supremacy to dream – access to media and get it out
• Afro-indigenous futurism conference – one thing that has continued to linger was a presentation that was truly geared for youth, so much more interactive with people’s full selves. Important for this not to be such a cerebral exercise – how to bring our fuller selves into this vitality to imagine. 
• Practicing consent – can affect spaces, “I’m having a thought, can i share with you?” 
• We are in climate crisis catastrophe, any politicized work we do to dismantle white supremacy needs to address environment and capitalism
• This piece, from last year is brilliant on the connections between white supremacy and climate change, by Hop Hopkins: https://www.sierraclub.org/sierra/racism-killing-planet
  • “You can’t have climate change without sacrifice zones, and you can’t have sacrifice zones without disposable people, and you can’t have disposable people without racism.”
• Another incredible resource/video to witness (from the land where I am): https://learningcircle.ubc.ca/2021/01/13/when-the-world-is-ending/
• Being a person is doing the work – radical imagining, fractals, moving at the speed of trust. Curious about the influence of adrienne maree brown as a north star, one person vs collective – celebrity – separateness that comes from capitalism
• are you slacking or are you doing your best in really challenging times?
• North stars: Ilhan Omar, Mariame Kaba, Toshi Reagon, Prentis Hemphill
• http://witnessingwhiteness.com/NewWitnessing/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/toward-a-radical-white-identity-final.pdf?platform=hootsuite 

Closing. Looking back from a more liberated future – what was one small part you played? Or one commitment or takeaway:

• Continue to put myself in these spaces
• Joy, healing
• Gives me pause to think about the world beyond my lifetime
• Keep my feet on the path, never arriving
• Taking away resources and knowledge. 
• Made sure every had nourishment (cushy pillows and snacks)
• Reading
• Pay attention to naming and growing the antidotes
• Saving the shellmounds
• Made a lot of white people really uncomfortable and moved them towards acting less anti-Black and less anti-queer
• Talking about mistakes, being with one another, overcoming fear, building courage
• Collaboration 
• Holding fear that we will transition out of the pandemic and forget our lessons of care and interdependence
• Hope i contributed to places of deep hospitality